They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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