shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
