if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Randomize
