my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
