About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
