I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
