i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
