I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
