Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
