Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
