garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
