so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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