I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The Olympian is in my bed
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
