When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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