Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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