yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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