hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
