if you like me you must not know who I am
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she woke up with a sticky ear
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I deserve this hangover.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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