wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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