Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
