Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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