The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
