You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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