Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
my poor anus
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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