garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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