She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love accidental penises.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
