I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
