too bad you live with your parents still
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
