I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
