youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize