My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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