things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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