but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
