OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
