so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm bleeding and have questions
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
