I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
