How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
