I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
