i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
