Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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