): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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