I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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