I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
