i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize