Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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