Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
