Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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