I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
