he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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