now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
