Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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