I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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